Is being a nice guy holding back your dating life?

It’s a new year, and maybe a new you. For many guys, their resolution is to get into a relationship but lack the skills to do so.

Ara from 103.1 Beach Radio sat down with men’s relationship and life coach, Brandon Archer, to offer guys advice on this and other dating aspects going into 2023.

New beginnings can be exciting and terrifying for singles and couples who’ve been together forever. Why do you think some guys strike out time and time again, and what’s the fix?

Many men have been fed ‘nice guy tendencies,’ Archer explained, often sacrificing their wants and needs in an attempt to just please women.

“Here’s the thing, women feel that energy on a core level,” Archer said. “It’s not what they want, it’s what Disney has told us, what society has told us we’re supposed to do.”

Society, he feels, is giving both men and women the wrong impression of what is expected in dating and relationships, setting many up for failure while offering little to no guidance.

The fix is self exploration; asking yourself why you have those beliefs, to learn what’s not working, and why it isn’t. After that inward journey, guys can learn to pivot and change those unhelpful habits and beliefs.

Getting that light switch to turn on to help us understand the fundamentals of relationships isn't always easy. Some of us guys have been searching for it forever, when are we close?

“If you’re [reading this], you probably know there’s something that needs to change,” Archer said. “That’s it, don’t ignore that gut reaction that there’s something that I don’t know here, I need to find out more. It starts there. You’ve got to ask the question of yourself first.”

What types of things have you heard from the men you’ve worked with and helped thus far?

Many past clients reported having greater clarity and understanding.

“The main thing I hear from men is, ‘it all makes so much sense now. I wish I’d known this before and my wife’s happier,’” he said.

Archer’s goal when it comes to workshops and consultations is to make sure men and their significant others feel more fulfilled.