Here’s how to build deeper connection this holiday season

The holidays are fast approaching, an important time for any romantic relationship.

Unfortunately, many men are clueless about how to strengthen it for the long term.

Wanting to know more, Ara from 103.1 Beach Radio turned to relationship and life coach, Brandon Archer, for answers.

What's a key piece of advice for men looking to build a long-lasting romance with a partner?

Months or years into a relationship feels different than its start when it was fueled by passion and ‘lots of fire,’ Archer explained. Its crucial to focus on the long game and adaptability.

“Things ebb and flow. Things change, energies change, life changes, which means the relationship morphs too,” he said. “So, as a man, you understand that you have to learn to navigate that ocean.”

“Some days it’s calm, some days it’s rough. It doesn’t mean you’re not still going in the right direction. It means you have to learn to adapt to what’s going on around you.”

Some guys have no clue about what their partner really needs and wants, and it can become problematic. How can we understand the person we want to share our life with on a deeper level?

Learning to understand women is an under rated skill that Archer believes isn’t being taught nearly enough in our society.

A practical way to improve is to learn to listen properly, without just leaping to fixing your girlfriend or wife’s problems.

“They are not looking for us to solve anything,” Archer said. “They’re looking for a safe space so they can share what’s on their heart, which allows you as a man to get to know them deeper and deeper.”

The real magic, he added, is for a man to know himself on a deep level. If you don’t understand yourself and what you want, you can’t hear or understand her properly.

What do you hope people who take your workshops walk away with?

Archer has one-on-one consultations and leads group workshops tailored for men. He hopes they walk away questioning everything they think they know about relationships.

“I want them to go deeper into, ‘why do I even think this is the way a relationship should be,’” Archer said. “And I want to give them the tools to reframe everything they think they know and start developing healthy views on relationships.”