Here are 3 tips for men with romantic blind spots

Brandon Archer says he used to be ‘terrible’ at relationships, and it cost him his marriage.

The 47-year-old not only faced the hurdle of the divorce but also experienced a heart attack. Those taught him valuable life lessons.

He also found a mentor who helped him with inner exploration and met a woman who challenged him in new ways.

Now he’s become a men’s relationship and life coach.

Kelowna10 reached him, and he offered three tips for men to be better at dating.

Pause before you speak.

“We have different parts of our brain, and they act differently,” Archer said. “The one that usually talks first is our reaction-based part. So, very rarely is what we’re saying very coherent.”

After three seconds, he explained the other parts of our brain ‘catches up,’ allowing for more reasonable responses.

Don’t listen to your buddies for relationship advice.

“They do not know what they’re talking about.”

Remember, women think differently than men.

“Generally speaking, what women are telling you with words is not really what’s going on for them,” he said. “They’re thinking differently than [men]. They use their emotions first, their mind second, and we’re the opposite of that.”

In fact, when asked what he thinks is the biggest mistake men make in relationships, Archer said it’s assuming women think the same way men do.

“If we can slow down and use our capacity to use our logic and intellect as men, it can go really well,” Archer added.

A big part of what he teaches is more authenticity, which comes from understanding oneself. Once you know yourself more completely, you’re better equipped to ask for what you want and need from your partner.

On Saturday, Nov. 5, Archer is teaching a Men’s Romantic Relationship Workshop at Bean Scene on Bernard Ave. It’s training and education that he feels is lacking in society and a contributing factor to the high divorce rate.

“We’ve not been shown how to do relationships,” Archer said. “We go to school for four to 12 years to learn how to do something at university, but we spend zero time trying to figure out or understand the most nuanced things that we do as a human being, which is romantic relationships.”